The Tourist Trap
by Hoplite39
Summary: When Jake encounters the Na'vi for the first time, he finds them much more friendly than expected. Perhaps too friendly...


DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN AVATER.

Jake swam to the river bank. The Thanator was still standing on the edge of the cliff on the other side, roaring with frustration at losing its meal. Relieved to have escaped, Jake climbed out of the water. It was going to get dark soon. Jake knew the Pandora forest was dangerous at night. He would have to find a way to survive until help arrived.

Jake walked into the forest. Suddenly he found himself surrounded by dozens of Na'vi. At first, he was nervous, worried that they would be Hostile.

"Hey, Dreamwalker." Said one of the Na'vi approaching Jake with open arms. "Welcome to our beautiful land. My name Tsu-tey. I show you round. Hey, what your name?"

"Er, Jake."

The Na'vi surrounded Jake. Jake noticed that none of the Na'vi were carrying any weapons. Instead, they were all holding up various tourist holiday souvenirs such as ornaments, jewellery, postcards and t-shirts. They seemed to be very friendly.

"Hey, dreamwalker. You want to buy postcard?" Asked Tsu-Tey. "We have many good postcards. Kelutral, Iknimaya, the Tree of souls. One for $2 or ten for $15. Good deal. No?"

"Er no thank. No, I don't want a post card…" Replied Jake.

"You want T-shirt then?"

Tsu-tey pointed to a Na'vi displaying some T-shirts with phrases like 'I love Pandora', 'I'm King of Pandora', 'I'm Toruk Makto' and 'I see you'.

"Normally sell T-shirt for $20." Said Tsu-tey. "But I give you for $10, my friend. Or three for $25. Good price, yes?"

"No, I don't want a T-shirt…"

"Oh, you want souvenirs." Suggested Tsu-Tey. "We have many souvenirs. Only $10 each. Very good price."

Several Na'vi were selling identical models of Hometree, Iknamaya, the Tree of souls, tree of voices and various Pandora fauna.

"No I don't want souvenirs…"

"Or leather jackets." Offered Tsu-Tey. "Real Toruk leather. Last long time. Only $8,000."

"No, it's too warm.…"

"Aaaaah. Perhaps Dreamwalker is thirsty after escaping palulukan." Said Tsu-Tey smiling. "Needs a drink. We have many cocktail. What you want? We have Screaming Tsahaylu and Sex on the Tree of Voices. Only $10 each."

"No, I don't want a cocktail."

"Or you want jewellery or watches. Many choice from only $15." Tsu-tey presented a Na'vi who has many necklaces round his neck and dozens of watches on his arms.

"This one made from real…how you say…unobtanium." Said Tsu-tey pointing to a necklace. "Only $2,000. Nice gift for wife."

"Look, I'm not married." Said Jake.

"Aaaah. I know what dreamwalker wants." Said Tsu-tey nodding knowingly. "Dreamwalker want girls. We have many nice girls."

Tsu-tey whistled and two females appeared from the crowd of Na'vi. Tsu-tey pushed the two Na'vi women forward towards Jake.

"Peyral and Ninat. Very nice girls. Only $200 an hour." Said Tsu-tey. "Ninat sing very nice. You know what Tsu-tey mean? He he he.

"No, I don't want that."

"Oh, you want pretty girl." Suggested Tsu-tey. "Here my wife, Neytiri. Very pretty girl."

Tsu-tey grabbed Neytiri from the crowd and pushed her forward. Neytiri smiled shyly at Jake.

"Neytiri love you long time. Me..you...Tsahaylu."

"Hey, I think she like you." Grinned Tsu-tey. "You want her. Normally tsahaylu with wife $30,000. But I give her for only $28,000. Good deal, eh?" Tsu-tey grinned wider and made vulgar thrusting movements with his hips.

"Look, she's very nice." Said Jake. "But this is not why I am here."

"Oh, you want boys?" Said Tsu-tey. "We have some very nice Na'vi boys. Tsu-tey find some nice Na'vi boys for dreamwalker."

"No. I'm not here for that either." Said Jake frustrated. "Look, I was told to come here to talk to you."

"Oh, you here on business." Said Tsu-tey. "You sell skywomen. Na'vi like little Skywomen very much."

Tsu-tey and other male Na'vi started making vulgar thrusting motions with their hips while grinning maliciously.

"We pay many horses and Ikrans for little Skywomen." Said Tsu-tey.

"I think, I'd better go and find my friends." Said Jake disgusted.

As Jake turned back to the river, Neytiri grabbed him by the arm.

"Dreamwalker marry Neytiri. Neytiri get visa on Skypeople world. Then Neytiri bring over husband and children…."

"No…" Jake struggled out of Neytiri's grasp and pushed his way through the crowd towards the river. An old Na'vi woman grabbed Jake's hand.

"Mo'at read palm. I tell future. Only $20."

With difficulty, Jake managed to break free from Mo'at's vice like grip and walked swiftly towards the river. An old Na'vi man approached him.

"Hey, dreamwalker. You like soccer." Said Eytukahn. "On Pandora, they tackle like this."

Eytukahn grabbed Jake and tried to trip him as if he is tackling him in soccer. Jake managed to keep his balance only to see the old man run off. Jake patted his back pocket and noticed his wallet has gone.

"Son of a bi…." Exclaimed Jake furiously.

The Na'vi were milling around Jake. Tsu-tey grabbed him by the arm

"Or you want tour on river. Tsu-tey give dreamwalker tour in boat. Very safe. Only $100."

"No…"

Jake brakes free from Tsu-tey and ran into the river. Tsu-Tey shouted after him.

"Or ride ...how you say…direhorse. Or Ikran. You want ride Ikran. Tsu-Tey show you how. Very safe. Only $6,000."

Jake ignored him and dived into the water, deciding to take his chances with the Thanator which was still pacing back and forth on the other side.

The Na'vi waved as Jake swims away. Tsu-tey stood beside Neytiri and Mo'at on the river bank.

"Come back soon, dreamwalker." Shouted Tsu-tey. "And next time, bring friends, more money and Skygirls."

As Jake reached the other side of the river and started to climb up towards the Thanator, Neytiri turned to Tsu-tey.

"Good job, Tsu-tey." Smiled Neytiri. "I don't think we'll see him again."

"Yes, nice work, Tsu-tey." Agreed Mo'at. "You certainly deserve your position as our greatest warrior. This tourist trap tactic you have developed really works against the dreamwalkers."

"Yup, works every time."


End file.
